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  • Felice Cohen

My Year-End Annual Family Wrap-Up

What a year it’s been!

For starters, my niece Paige, though she’s only nine, was accepted to Harvard. While we think she’s too young, she did convince us she’s ready after single-handedly fixing the Affordable Care’s website and signing us all up. Obviously she won’t be majoring in English Lit or Sociology.

My nephew, six, was recruited to play for the Yankees, but declined saying, “Hello, I’m six.” Honestly though, he was holding out for the Red Sox. He will continue his studies in first grade, while learning to use a napkin.

My sister Meredith has begun working as an occupational therapist where she has already discovered a cure for the stubbed toe (wear steel toe boots). She’s now on a mission to make sure no household in America goes without them.

Nurse Jackie, my other sister, though she has another year to go until she gets her nursing degree, aside from being number one in her class, has already performed an appendectomy and that was just while waiting in line at CVS. However she did forget to use her 25% off coupon so we’re still holding out hope for her.

My brother-in-law Jeff is still tall.

My mother continues to pump iron three times a week with a group of muscle heads and will be competing in the Cape Cod Grandma Olympics next summer. Go Mom!

My father has mastered bungee jumping in his spare time when he’s not flying to Italy to sing at the opera house in Milan. My folks are taking Baby Boomers to a whole new level of boom.

As for me, I was asked to fly to London to organize Kensington Palace. It was hard at first to get the Queen to part with some of her furniture but when I said, “Lizzy, you’re killing me. No one’s sat in this armchair since the French Revolution,” she finally relented. After donating several pieces of unused furniture, the two of us went to IKEA to modernize the joint up a little. A&E filmed our time together and the show will air sometime in the future right after Duck Dynasty.

Here’s wishing all of our friends and family the best in the coming new year!

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